DEAR HARRIETTE: I suffer from depression. I set unrealistic goals for myself, and when they are not met, I beat myself up. I know this is not a good pattern to follow. How do I set realistic goals to help prevent future lapses of unhappiness? -- Trying to Keep a Smile on My Face, West Orange, New Jersey
DEAR TRYING TO KEEP A SMILE ON MY FACE: I caution you to be mindful of claiming depression unless you are sure that's what it is. What you know for sure is that you battle with managing your expectations and living with the aftermath of reaching too high.
One way to work on setting realistic goals is to write things down in an order. Start with the big dreams -- the ones that are the most epic. Then break those dreams down into manageable parts. Do your best to envision what the steps are that can lead to fulfilling each goal. Break it down until you have identified a timeline that leads to completion dates.
Begin to check off your list one item at a time. Over time, you will get closer to your big goals if you stay focused. What's more, you will be able to enjoy the journey better because you can celebrate little victories all along the way.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)