DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bit of a foodie, and I enjoy collecting cookbooks that adorn a bookshelf by my kitchen. I know that I can just look up a recipe on the Internet, but I enjoy having my tried and true recipes on the page in front of me. A few of my friends have asked to borrow a cookbook when they come over. I have over a hundred of these books, so I didn't think twice about letting some of my friends borrow my cookbooks.
After a few months, I began to get suspicious. I reached out to my friends ... and only one out of the four said she would give my book back to me! The rest couldn't find it or had loaned it to other people. I just said to let me know when they get the books back.
In reality, I'm pretty annoyed that my friends disrespected my belongings like this. I want to lay down the law and demand they give me the book or pay me back. What should I say when I call them? -- No Library Card, St. Louis
DEAR NO LIBRARY CARD: When you value something, hold on to it. That is the lesson you just learned. Since your cookbooks are precious to you, you must treat them like that all the time. That could mean allowing them to be borrowed only if you sign them out like library books, with clearly defined penalties.
Better yet, do not lend them. You can allow friends to record recipes by hand or take a photo with their phones. But if you do not let the books leave your home, you will always have them.
As for the friends who have not returned cookbooks, do not charge them a fine, but do tell them that you are terribly disappointed and that you expect them to return the books.