DEAR HARRIETTE: For years, people have mocked my desire for a music career. I am always told the same thing in different ways -- people essentially saying that music is a hobby and not a real job. I tell them that it is my passion: I want to have a job that I love and I will do anything to get there. Obviously, my fellow suburban high school students are not going to understand this mindset, but there are many adults who doubt me as well. This causes me to not want to tell anyone the truth when they ask about my goals after high school. Is there a specific way to respond to these criticisms? -- Feeling Doubted, Westchester, New York
DEAR FEELING DOUBTED: It can be hard for people who are following a more traditional work trajectory to understand, let alone support, someone who wants to build a musical career. I had a client years ago who wanted to be a singer; her mother was a little skittish about her choice, so she applied for college and pursued record labels at the same time. She was fortunate to be accepted by both. She chose music, knowing that if it didn't work out, she would be able to go to college. That helped her mother to support her with full confidence.
You have to figure out the best way to get your family and key friends to be on your side. But most of all, you need to focus on your dreams. Ask your parents to allow you opportunities to study music and get the training and connections you need. When others question you, tell them you are clear about your goals, and you are going for them. Then, ask them questions. People like to talk about themselves, so if you can change the subject, you should be safe from their criticism.