DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm the oldest out of three boys with a recently widowed mother. Each of us has his own career, and we live at varying distances from where our parents lived. Our father died at the beginning of last year, and since then, I've seen Mom struggle to keep up the house. Our house has always had issues, but our dad used to be around every day to help manage that.
While I understand the house has sentimental value, I think it may be a good decision for her to downsize to a smaller house or a condo. I spoke with my brothers and we agree, but we haven't broached the topic with our mother yet. How can we do this in a respectful manner? -- Drama-Free House, Philadelphia
DEAR DRAMA-FREE HOUSE: If possible, go together to visit your mother. Propose that she move. Position it with the pros and cons that you have observed. Of course, it is the family home, but home really is wherever she is. (That was my mother's thinking when she moved after my father's death, and it worked for all of us.) Point out the many challenges she faces with the house, as well as the potential for easier living in a smaller place that has amenities, like a condo. Offer to help her pack and move. It may take a while for the idea to grow on her. Keep reminding her of the benefits.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)