DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been together for six years. I love him with all my heart and would do almost anything for him. I say "almost" because his recent request isn't an easy one. Normally, if he asks me to do something, I'm there; I'll do it without hesitation. It's always been that way in our relationship because we love and trust each other. I overlooked our age difference -- he's 38, and I'm 24 -- because I never thought that it would come between us.
Lately, he's been very persistent about wanting children. He wants to have a baby so bad. This wouldn't be a problem if he wanted one in a few years. However, he wants a baby right now. I feel like I'm too young to have a baby. I just made it out of being a teen only a couple years ago. I'm not ready to be anybody's mother. I don't know enough about life to teach somebody else yet.
This baby dream of his has made him crazy. He's even gone as far as hiding my birth control pills and "accidentally" forgetting to use a condom. I put myself on the Depo-Provera shot the minute I noticed he was doing this on purpose. I don't want to disappoint him, but there has to be a way we can compromise on the timing of this baby. If we're going to do this, I want to have a plan. I'm not going to get pregnant just because he wants a baby. I'm just not ready. -- Not Ready, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR NOT READY: You need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and create a plan that you can agree on about making a family. The good news is that since you are young, you probably do have many fertile years ahead. Men tend to be fertile for many more years than his current age, too. Talk through a potential timetable.
Also, make it clear to your husband that you will feel violated if he impregnates you against your will. Come to an agreement on timing, and work together toward that goal.