DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter and I just had the "college talk." She told me that she wanted to go to an expensive private university, and I told her we simply do not have the funds. She's applied herself more and more to track and field, and she hopes to get a scholarship to this school. If the price is reasonable, we will pay for this. However, I think she needs to keep her options open, though she has a one-track mind to this university. How can I change her mind about state schools? -- Too Expensive, Washington, D.C.
DEAR TOO EXPENSIVE: Encourage your daughter to go for her dream as she also lines up several backups. Be straightforward with her about exactly how much money you believe you can contribute to her annual college fund. Help her to create a budget based on all expenses, including books, food, transportation home, etc. Compare the two.
Help your daughter search for scholarships. There are plenty more than the athletic option. Many students get multiple scholarships that help to pay for their college lives. Finally, press your daughter to apply to several more schools that are within your budget parameters. Look hard at the options so that you can identify schools that offer her areas of interest at the lower price. Do not allow her to put all her eggs in one proverbial basket. Require that she explore her options so that no matter what happens, she is covered.
If she suggests that you are not supporting her dream, assure her that you hope that her dream will come true when she wants it to, but that it is your responsibility as her parent to ensure that she has a backup plan.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)