DEAR HARRIETTE: After a family get-together, it came to my knowledge that my 6-year-old cousin wears diapers to bed. This shocked me (and grossed me out) because I was completely potty-trained at half her age. I didn't want to bring this up to her mother, who seems to think attachment parenting is the best method, but I think I should. What if she gets made fun of at sleepovers or never gets fully potty-trained? I think I should step in -- her seventh birthday is coming up in a few months. -- No More Diapers, St. Louis
DEAR NO MORE DIAPERS: You cannot prevent whatever teasing may come your cousin's way. You can speak to her mother to check in. Let her know that you discovered that her daughter isn't yet potty-trained and that you wanted to check in to find out if there's something wrong. There is a chance that your cousin is developmentally disabled or has some other challenge. If you ask compassionately, you stand a chance of receiving an honest answer.
Ask your aunt if you can be of help with your cousin making the transition out of diapers. Be careful as you navigate this conversation, but push on. Do your best to learn what's going on with her and to encourage her to get the help her daughter needs in order to gain control of her bladder. A visit to the pediatrician may be needed -- or even to a child psychologist.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)