DEAR HARRIETTE: What is the typical rotation of hosting holidays? I have been trying to get the weight of hosting off my shoulders, but I can't seem to find a child, sibling or grandparent to take the burden. Should this be passed up or down through generations? -- No More Hosting, Detroit
DEAR NO MORE HOSTING: I'm not aware of a "typical" rotation of hosting holidays that's part of the American lexicon. What I do know is that it usually starts with the matriarch of the family, and then when she either passes or gets too old to handle the responsibility, one of her siblings or children takes the baton.
These days, families that live near one another sometimes agree to rotate the responsibility from house to house each year and each holiday, so that it is not a burden on anyone. In some families -- especially those that have lost the matriarch but have no one willing or able to step in -- families decide to go to a restaurant for the holiday meal -- as a family. Or they order in. I know that may seem sacrilegious for some, but it works in certain instances. Ultimately, if the duty has fallen on you and you are no longer up to the task, you must initiate new ideas and enforce what makes sense for you.