DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into my old boss this summer, and it was pleasant on the surface, but I have to admit that I still hold a grudge against her. I felt like I was not treated well during my last days on the job. I felt like I was being taken advantage of, and, ultimately, she fired me because I called her on it. I have moved on, as this was many years ago. But I do not trust her. So when we saw each other, we were pleasant to each other, but the memories came flooding in. There were other former co-workers at this gathering, and they were all going down memory lane talking about the "good old days," and it was hard for me to participate in the conversation because that's not how I remember it. I mainly stayed quiet. I didn't see any good in reminiscing about what I would call the bad times. How can I let go of the bad feelings? I think that's the only way I can fully move on. -- Stuck in the Past, Cincinnati
DEAR STUCK IN THE PAST: Forgiveness is one of the most powerful practices and also one of the most difficult. Whatever happened between you and your old boss is in the past. Clearly, she hurt you. There's a chance you had some role in this as well. Rather than continuing to rehash and hold onto the dregs of the past, stay in the moment. Remind yourself of what is good about your life. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and your boss for whatever occurred before so that you can be in the moment and reap whatever benefits await you. You deserve that freedom.