DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a business partner who is driving me crazy. On one hand, she is strong in areas where I am not so strong. But the part that is killing me is that every time we have a conversation, I have to listen to her screaming on the phone. Everything seems like an argument with her, and I do not like to argue -- at all. I have told her that I need her to tone it down a few notches. I have even asked her to stop fussing all the time and try to frame the conversation in a positive way. I feel like I am talking to the wall. What else can I do? I value our working relationship, but I cannot stand this aspect of it. -- Bad Work Marriage, Seattle
DEAR BAD WORK MARRIAGE: Schedule a face-to-face meeting with your business partner, and tell her that you need to talk about the way you two interact. Remind her of what you appreciate about your business relationship, and point out that there are some problems. Be specific when you tell her the things that she does or says, and how her behavior makes you feel. If, for instance, you get anxious when she raises her voice, point that out. If you simply hate arguing and prefer to interact in a calm voice, ask her to make the effort to talk to you when she can be calm and to avoid confronting you when she is heated. Find out what gets under her skin about you as well. Having a healthy conversation about communication styles and preferences may help the two of you to find a happy meeting ground from which you can both prosper.