DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been said that love doesn't cost a thing ... though it's possibly just a good movie title. Whether it is money, time or energy, love does indeed cost. I have recently gotten engaged to my fiancee, and I can't wait to marry her. We are now in planning mode for the wedding, and I realized that money is beginning to spread thin. Being a young working professional, I have decided to keep the wedding small but still invite my close friends from college. I am beginning to feel pressured to spend what I don't have because many of my friends continue asking if I will have an open bar at the reception. I won't; an open bar is simply too much money for my budget at this time. But I want my friends to have fun. Is it really worth spending the extra money for an open-bar reception? -- Groom on a Budget, Detroit
DEAR GROOM ON A BUDGET: As you plan your life with your bride-to-be, you have to get clear on your priorities. Naturally, you want to host a wedding that will be elegant and enjoyable for all of your guests. That does not mean that you should go into unnecessary debt. You may want to consider offering complimentary wine and a champagne toast. You can limit the bar to those items so that you do pay for everything, but "everything" is limited.
You can also organize it so that if people want hard liquor, they can pay for it. No, that's not ideal, but it is commonly done these days when couples are on a budget. Most important is for you to manage your friends' expectations. Whatever you decide, let them know up front so that they will not be surprised upon arrival.