DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has recently become a successful model. She has been signed with a modeling agency for years and recently walked in many shows at New York Fashion Week. I've noticed that as her success grows, so does her self-confidence ... but not in a positive way. I've witnessed her laugh at people who "think they're pretty" or "think they have good bodies." I remind her that she is an exception and not the typical body type at almost 6 feet with Danish heritage. My chiding does not seem to lessen her judgment of others.
I am concerned with what she could be saying about me behind my back. If she is rude about most people, she is probably rude about me behind my back. I want to bring her down to earth the way she used to be, but I am at a loss for where to start. Any suggestions? -- Not Model Behavior, Queens, New York
DEAR NOT MODEL BEHAVIOR: This could be your friend's season to get a big head. Too often, when the ego outgrows one's internal filter, a person's vision becomes clouded and what used to be so obvious is unclear. What's also true in the world of modeling is that everyone is constantly being judged by how she or he looks -- every little feature. It becomes an obsession sometimes for models to stay looking as "beautiful" as possible because how they look determines whether they work. Sadly, what looks like self-confidence to you may actually be insecurity masked by ego. Whatever the case, this does not mean you shouldn't make the effort to shake your friend back to reality.
Rather than worrying about what she says about you -- because you cannot control that, and you already see that she is in rude mode right now -- focus on supporting her. Tell her that you are concerned that her growing success in this image-driven business is getting to her better senses. Tell her that it disturbs you that she speaks so rudely about the way that people look. Compliment her once more on how her striking looks seem to work for her in the tough industry of modeling, but ask her to remember to be kind to those who don't look like her.