DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who I always thought was gay. I was OK with that. It's his business, and I really do believe people should be able to do whatever makes them happy. So the other day he came to visit to tell me that he is getting married to a woman, and she's pregnant. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say. Over the years I have seen him with lots of men, but never once with a woman. I've been married for five years, and I know how much of a commitment marriage is. I wonder if he gets that, and also, if he is gay, how is he going to do this? Given that he is a good friend of mine, I want to talk to him about it, just to see where his head is. Is that going too far on my part? -- Crossing the Line, Dallas
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: His choices remain his personal business. But because you are his friend and you also have perspective on marriage, you can approach him. Invite him to get together one-on-one. Ask him about his upcoming nuptials and how he feels. Admit that you thought he was gay, which is why you were surprised when he announced he was marrying a woman. Ask him if he feels confident that he is making the right decision for him. If he wants to talk about what's happening in his life, he will. But if he chooses not to reveal anything personal to you, do not push him. Make it clear that you are his friend and will support him in whatever choices he makes.