DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I will be married 15 years this May. He asked me the other day if I would like to renew our vows on our wedding day. He said he has been thinking about it a lot and wanted to give us enough time to make the arrangements and figure out who we want to invite. He is so excited about the idea -- but I am not. I am bored and frustrated in our marriage. Honestly, I have been thinking about whether I even want to stay married. I am hardly interested in doing it all over again. How do I break this to him? -- Not So Sure, Rochester, New York
DEAR NOT SO SURE: Could it be that your husband wants to marry you again so that you can rekindle your bond? He may also realize that things have gotten stale at home. Rather than deciding to walk away, though, he's choosing to reclaim your love and strengthen your bond.
Tell your husband about your doubts and concerns. Be honest about how you feel about your marriage -- what is working and what is not. Admit that you do not think that your marriage is strong. Ask him to go to counseling with you now. Perhaps you can rediscover your love and affection for each other with professional help. Tell him that for now you are not ready to renew your vows, but you are willing to figure out if your relationship is worth saving.