DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has a wandering eye, and I need him to stop this behavior. Last week we went on a dinner date, and the moment we sat down in the restaurant, my husband's neck was on a swivel, turning from left to right. In walks a group of ladies, one of whom caught my husband's eye. The woman was shapely and gorgeous. They made eye contact and exchanged smiles. This made me furious, because I'm a very attractive woman as well, but I did not want to make a scene in the restaurant.
I'm getting tired of my husband's wandering eye. What should I say to him? -- Private Eyes, Detroit
DEAR PRIVATE EYES: Have you ever confronted your husband about this disrespectful behavior? It's definitely time to say something.
Remind him of your date and how he flirted with that woman. Tell him that his wandering eyes hurt your feelings. You believed that when he chose to marry you, he did so with a mind to be exclusive to you. Checking out women all the time, especially when he is supposed to be on a date with you, is rude and disrespectful. Ask him to stop.
Even if he agrees, know that your initial request won't be enough. Patterns are hard to break. So when you next notice that he's checking somebody else out, tap him and tell him he's doing it again. Ask him to stop.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Two weeks ago, my next-door neighbor cursed out my daughter for talking and playing music way too loud at night. A few days later, this same neighbor proceeded to knock on my door and ask me if I could take her to the mall because her car didn't work. My neighbor cursed out my daughter, and now she wants me to take her to the mall!
I'm not too sure what to do. Should I honor her request and take her to the mall? -- Good Neighbor, St. Louis
DEAR GOOD NEIGHBOR: You missed a step. When your neighbor cursed out your daughter, you should have immediately talked to her -- and your daughter -- about it. Your daughter must learn to be conscious of other people when she's playing music loudly. You should agree on a time when music needs to be played more quietly and possibly even share your recommendation for that time with your neighbor. But your neighbor had no business cursing at your child. That needs to be addressed.
Tell your neighbor that you didn't appreciate her cursing at your daughter. If she has problems with your daughter's behavior, she should civilly come to you.
If you want to distance yourself from her, you could tell her that you need to cool off because she really upset you. Or, if after you address the situation with her you feel you can let it go, then give her a ride. But you have to deal with the elephant in the room first.