One of my readers picked up the ashes of her old Labrador the other day, the burnished wooden box the only physical remainder of the dog who had been part of her life for nearly 13 years. She had taken care of him for all that time, but only in the latter half of his life had she come to cherish his companionship.
His death was a double whammy: With him, he took the last reminder of the life she once led. He had been a family dog, a pup bought for the children -- her husband's idea, not hers, she said -- but at the end of his life, she and the dog were the only residents of the big suburban ranch house. Her children were grown and gone, and she and her husband had split. The house now seemed intolerably large, she said, and she figured she'd sell it.
In a smaller place, she'll get a smaller dog -- someday. But for now, there is the matter of the box. "It doesn't seem right to put it in a closet," she wrote. "He was a special dog, and he meant a lot to me. I want to do something more."
What can you do to remember a special pet? The answers are as varied as every person who has gone through such a loss. Some people figure when a pet is gone, that's it, and they don't do anything to remember them, save shed a few tears. I must admit to being in that camp: I've never stopped missing the pets I've lost, but I've never brought home ashes, arranged for a burial plot, or even so much as planted a rose bush in a pet's memory.
Some people have commissioned paintings, or donated millions to build new shelters in their community, or to fund efforts to fight pet overpopulation. Maddie's Fund, a Alameda, Calif.-based foundation that's making a big difference reducing the number of surplus animals, is named for a schnauzer once owned by software magnates Cheryl and Dave Duffield, whose millions fund the foundation in the dog's memory. In a considerably smaller way, others follow the Duffields' example, making a donation to a humane group or other animal-related charity.
Others have made photo albums or, in a high-tech twist, built or contributed to memorial Web pages. The back pages of pet-related publications carry ads offering urns, or small grave markers, and some people have chosen those. My friend Peg in Georgia had two goldens who were devoted to each other. Sadie died, but Sundance hung on for a few years more. When he died, Peg put their ashes next to each other on the mantel, so they could be together again.
Does all this sound silly? Not to anyone who has ever loved a pet. And we are in good company: Writers no less significant than Lord Byron and Eugene O'Neill have written on the sorrow over losing a pet, and the grave of writer Albert Payson Terhune's collie, Lad, still attracts visitors to the dog's New Jersey resting place more than 80 years after Lad's death. (The epitaph reads "Lad: Thoroughbred in Body and Soul, 1902-1918.")
I know the reader who is now contemplating that box of ashes will find an answer in her heart to the question of how best to remember her Labrador.
And now, readers, I want to know what you have done when faced with a similar situation. How have you honored the memory of a special pet? Drop me a note or e-mail at the address at the bottom of the column. I'll share responses in a future piece.
PETS ON THE WEB
The hip literary magazine The Bark, which offers the best writing on dogs within its pages, began life as a newsletter promoting off-leash recreation areas. The magazine's staff still actively supports safe places for dogs to run, and they've put a two-part overview of the issue on their Web site.
The first part examines the history and reasons behind legalized off-leash areas, and the second presents a step-by-step blueprint for those trying to get these important recreational sites put in place in their communities. The second part also offers links to other sites in support of dog parks.
The Bark's main Web page (www.TheBark.com) is undergoing a renovation, but you can access the dog park articles at www.thebark.com/new/dogpark1.html (click on the link at the top of the first article to get to the second). The pair is an outstanding resource, not only in helping to get local government to support off-leash areas, but in countering the arguments of any off-leash naysayers.
THE SCOOP
The spike-shaped burrs known as foxtails are more than an annoyance; they can cause infections if they work their way into a dog's body -- typically through the nose or ears, although the pointy devils have also wormed their way into eye sockets and between the pads on paws.
Foxtails move in one direction only -- forward -- and they utilize the vibration caused by the animal's movement to keep corkscrewing forward. Once they're inside, you'll need a veterinarian's help to pull them out and fight the infection.
The best preventive care is to check your dog constantly (but especially after a visit to a field or park) and remove foxtails the moment you see them. This can usually be accomplished with a comb or brush, but if you've left the foxtail long enough to really work its way into the fur, spritz a little non-stick cooking spray (such as Pam) onto the area to help you work the burr free.
QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK
Q: What's the best way to get rid of mites on my parakeet? Can I just hang one of those mite protectors in his cage? Will that kill them? -- J.W, via e-mail
A: Skip the mite protector; it could do more harm than good. Worms, mites, lice -- how much should you be worrying about the effect of parasites on your pet bird? The answer: not too much, overall. Not only are parasites a lot less common a problem than most people think, the actions some bird-lovers take to get rid of pests that don't exist in their birds in the first place can put their pets at grave risk.
As long as your healthy bird isn't exposed to other birds whose health is unknown, he realistically shouldn't be picking up parasites. Mites, lice and worms don't just materialize out of thin air!
"Deworming" your bird, or using sprays or other pest-control products, can be bad news for your bird. Birds are especially sensitive to inhaled toxins, from bug sprays to cleaning products to the fumes from overheated non-stick cookware. The best strategy is to avoid any harsh fumes around your bird, including those from the popular mite pendants.
If you believe your bird has parasites, see your veterinarian for proper diagnosis and safe treatment, as well as advice on how to prevent reinfestations. There are different types of lice, different types of mites and different types of intestinal parasites -- and there are different types of treatments for all of these problems. A veterinarian with experience in avian medicine will help you do what's best for your bird.
Q: My parents just got me a hamster, and I really like him. I'm wondering how long I can expect to have him. And one more question: Why does he always want to play at night? -- G.A., via e-mail
A: With good care, your pet should be with you for about three years.
Hamsters are active at night because they're supposed to be: Many rodents do their sleeping in hidden places by day and venture out at night when they're less likely to be spotted by a predator.
Basic hamster care includes using safe bedding material (no pine or cedar shavings), keeping the cage clean, and having fresh food and water constantly available. (Press the ball on the water bottle to ensure water is flowing freely.) Hamsters will do fine on commercial food supplemented by a small but constant amount of fresh, clean fruits and vegetables. A wheel for exercise is also important; after all, hamsters weren't meant to spend their lives in small cages, and they need to stretch their legs to stay healthy.
Hamsters are born escape artists, so always be sure to check and double-check the latch on your cage after you've been playing with your pet.
Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.
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