Sometimes the columns just write themselves, like this one, which was born at 2 a.m. in an exam room of the emergency veterinary clinic, while I waited for the staff to return with good news and my sweet old dog, Andy.
I got both soon enough.
Andy's problems had started some 90 minutes earlier, when he woke me up with the sound of his vomiting. Dogs barf (lots), so the first couple of hurls didn't concern me. But after 20 minutes went by and Andy was still at it, I became very worried. Pancreatitis, perhaps? I knew how deadly that could be, especially with a 14-year-old dog. Could it be what the veterinarians call "garbage-pail gastritis" -- a bad tummy ache? We were soon on our way to find out.
His blood work turned out fine, so the veterinarian gave the old boy some fluids --- dehydration is always a concern -- and sent us on our way. She figured he probably ate something he shouldn't have, and a couple of days on a bland diet would set him right. I happily paid the bill and drove Andy home. Maybe I'd overreacted, but I always figure I'd rather pay to know my dog's OK than to find out later that he wasn't.
It's often hard to decide what's worth worrying about and what can wait until you can get your pet in during regular -- and less expensive -- hospital hours. I've spent enough time in emergency clinics to know that sometimes people waste their money through lack of knowledge, bringing pets in for such things as worms. (One woman was convinced the worm was a piece of her cat's intestines.) Other folks take too lightly such things as vomiting, which can be a sign of something deadly serious.
Anything is worth a call to the veterinarian if you're not sure, but some things definitely require urgent attention. Among them:
-- Seizure, fainting or collapse;
-- Eye injury, no matter how mild;
-- Vomiting or diarrhea, anything more than two or three times within an hour or so;
-- Allergic reaction, such as swelling around the face or hives;
-- Any suspected poisoning, including antifreeze, snail or rodent bait, or human medication;
-- Snakebite;
-- Thermal stress, a pet that has been too cold or too hot;
-- Any wound that's open and bleeding, or any animal bite;
-- Traumatic injury, such as being hit by a car;
-- Breathing problems, including chronic coughing or near drowning;
-- Straining to urinate or defecate;
Sometimes an animal may seem to be fine, such as after being hit by a car. But the story inside may be quite different, with internal injuries that need immediate veterinary attention. Any delay can cost your pet his life.
Most everything else can wait until morning, but here I must add a plea on your pet's behalf: Just because something CAN wait, doesn't mean it SHOULD wait. If your pet's in pain, take him in. You know he'd do the same for you. And remember: When in doubt, call, no matter the time of day or night.
A final note on veterinary emergencies: Do you know where to go if you have one? Check with your veterinarian to see if the hospital is open 24 hours a day, or if staff is always on call in case of an emergency. If your veterinarian does not offer after-hours care, the hospital usually works with one that does. Learn the location of the nearest emergency-care center, and put the phone number in a place where you can find it. The last thing you need to be doing with a sick pet at 2 a.m. is trying to find the phone book.
PETS ON THE WEB
The Humane Society of the United States is behind the slick Animal Channel Web site (www.animalchannel.net), and it's as good a collection of animal news as you'll find anywhere. The site is also big on interactivity, with polls and discussion areas, as well as audio and video features that you can play on your computer with Real Audio software. The video stories range from the serious (the grim lives of dogs on Native American reservations) to the upbeat (a feature on driving across country with three dogs). A lot of this site will be difficult for people who don't have the fastest of Internet connections, but even without the audio and video, it's a stop on the Web that should be visited again and again.
THE SCOOP
It's not very often that I'll run across a pet hazard I haven't warned about before, but I've got a new one, thanks to a recent edition of the magazine Cat Fancy. The danger: Dumpsters. The magazine reports that open Dumpsters -- especially behind restaurants -- are a magnet for wandering cats, who climb in to feast off what has been thrown away. The problem comes when the trash is collected, and the cats are hurled into trucks and are crushed when the compacting mechanism is turned on. The solution is an easy one: Keep the lids down on all Dumpsters. Thanks to Cat Fancy for bringing this hazard to light.
QUESTIONS FROM THE PACK
Q: Our boxer, Elvis, has the awful habit of taking off if he finds himself outside without a leash. This happens more times than I like to think about, since our kids aren't exactly careful about closing doors or gates all the way. Elvis has led me on many chases, including one last week in 100-degree weather that went on for blocks. I finally cornered him, or he'd still be running. He doesn't pay the slightest attention to my calling him; he just wants to run. What can I do? -- D.R., via e-mail
A: Maybe your dog is afraid to come to you. Do you punish your dog when you finally catch him? Punishing your pet is a good way of making sure the next time he gets loose he'll run farther, faster. Being reunited with you should be a positive experience. Never, ever punish a dog for coming to you or for failing to come.
If you're not punishing him, perhaps your dog really doesn't understand what you want. Few people practice the "come" command enough -- or at all. You probably use "sit" a half-dozen times a day, just around the house, but you probably never use "come."
Be fair: Ask yourself if your dog really understands what's expected of him. Most dogs don't. Or maybe your dog doesn't see why he should listen to you. Many dogs learn that what you want is only one of the factors that go into his deciding what he's going to do. A dog who knows what's expected of him and respects you is going to mind you. A dog who thinks you're a dope who couldn't catch a bus is going to treat you like the fool he thinks you are. What a fun game you're playing together!
If the problems are training and respect, you can fix them both together. Train your dog, work with your dog, and the respect will follow. Teach your dog the "come" command in increments, on a standard 6-foot leash, on progressively longer and lighter lines, and with lots of positive reinforcement. Practice, not just in formal sessions but in everyday life.
Make a game of it: Put your dog on "stay" in part of the house and call him to you from around a corner -- or hide! (The kids will love this one.) And sharpen up all your dog's manners, because they help reinforce your role as leader. Get the help of a trainer if you just don't seem to be getting anywhere.
In the meantime, there are a couple of tricks you can use to catch him. Try to sweet-talk him in with a kneeling, open-arms stance; or run away from him, enticing him to follow -- the chase instinct is very strong in most dogs. Another strategy is to use a command he knows well, like "sit." Once he's planted, you can take him by the collar, with lots of praise.
Another tip: Take the car. The dog who loves car rides -- and that's most of them -- will often jump right in if you get close and open the car door.
Q: I know some big parrots can live 70 years or more. What about the little guys? -- G.W., via e-mail
A: Even little guys can be with you for a long time, with proper care and nutrition. Budgies can make it into their teens and beyond, as can lovebirds, parrotlets and cockatiels. Medium-sized parrots, such as Senegals and conures, can be expected to be around 20 to 40 years.
It needs to be noted, however, that for most birds there's a huge gap between the life span they're capable of enjoying and the years they actually have on this Earth. A lot of the difference is in nutrition. Parrots who are fed an all-seed diet are eating the equivalent of junk food, and that's going to catch up with them before too long. A better plan: a core diet of pellets, supplemented by fruits and vegetables.
Gina Spadafori is the award-winning author of "Dogs for Dummies," "Cats for Dummies" and "Birds for Dummies." She is also affiliated with the Veterinary Information Network Inc., an international online service for veterinary professionals. Write to her in care of this newspaper, or send e-mail to writetogina(at)spadafori.com.
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