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Dear Mr. HandyPerson (aka Mark A. Hetts): Congratulations on your new iMac. You may be sorry, however, that you gave us your e-mail address!
I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for answering my letter in your column several months ago. You told me no one should pressure-wash windows, explained how I could insulate my 1985 windows and suggested I never use the painter again. I have followed your suggestions with pleasure.
As much as I love your handyperson columns (being my own handyperson), I most look forward to your updates on your cats (I have four, adopted as adults from the SPCA), your adjustment to your new (old) Victorian home and living with your friend, your physical struggles as you age (me, too), and your sense of humor (mine gets lost too often). Your devoted reader (The News & Observer, Raleigh) -- Delores H., Cary, N.C.
Dear Delores: Mark A. Hetts speaking here. You're welcome, and thanks for your good wishes and kind, supportive words.
I've never thought of myself as a particularly ironic writer or person, but sometimes irony shows up uninvited when one least expects it. The week after I finally made an e-mail address available for my readers, I was notified by Universal Press Syndicate that the Mr. HandyPerson column was to be discontinued. After nearly 15 years, this is, in fact, the final Mr. HP column.
I want to make it clear this was not my decision, and I have not "retired" as a writer or a person. I do not fully understand the reasoning behind dropping Mr. HP while he still has thousands of loyal readers and fans (not to mention loyal newspapers, some of which have carried this column the entire 15 years). But I am keenly aware of the challenges faced by the newspaper business in the current troubled economy, and I don't think my column was discontinued without serious and reasonable consideration.
Before devoted readers go for torches and pitchforks, let me say this: On reflection, this is not an altogether unwelcome development.
As a writer, I am an essayist and storyteller, and my writing has been widely published in literary magazines, anthologies, various online venues, and in freelance newspaper pieces for decades (go ahead, Google "Mark A. Hetts" or "Mr. HandyPerson"). I have tried in the Mr. HandyPerson column to bring a story-based approach to writing about simple home repair problems. My goal has never been to be an "expert," but to employ readers' tales of their home repair dilemmas to present a readable, entertaining, thoughtful column every week, sharing readers' stories and many of my own in a kind of ongoing conversation.
It has not always been an easy sell for Universal's talented sales staff, and some newspaper feature editors simply didn't "get it" as a concept. But wherever the column appeared for a few months, readers always got it, and I have the thousands of letters, fan mail and now a massive batch of e-mails to back that up.
While caught a little off-guard by Universal's decision, I'm actually ready to move on to other writing escapades (and I will not miss the weekly deadlines!). I've seriously considered the idea of trying to keep Mr. HandyPerson in print by self-syndicating, but without the backing of the syndicate to promote, sell and distribute the weekly column, this means starting a whole new business, something I've done before in my life but in which I have no serious interest, especially these days.
I know this news will be a shock to devoted, longtime readers and steadfast newspaper editors, but I hope people will note the mailing address and e-mail below, stay in touch occasionally, and look for my writing elsewhere in magazines, freelance work, and maybe a potential book of collected stories and essays.
Sincere thanks to Universal Press Syndicate for "adopting" me in 1994 -- we've had a good run. I must note that my UPS editor of 13 years, Greg Melvin, is a writer's dream, a caring, good human being and friend. Many thanks and good wishes to the newspapers and devoted editors who kept me in print all these years. Most important, heartfelt thanks and kindest regards to readers who followed this column regularly, responded and made this long conversation a pleasure.
So, my friends, thank you, good night and good luck. Mr. HandyPerson has left the building ...
Mark A. Hetts, aka Mr. HandyPerson
Universal Press Syndicate
Mailbox: 584 Castro Street, PMB 421
San Francisco, CA 94114
E-mail: MrHandyPerson@earthlink.net
