DEAR MISS MANNERS: I connected with an old girlfriend from way back in the past. She lost her husband several years ago. We have been chatting via email for a while, and things are going great. She is reserved and quiet, but very chatty online.
Neither one of us is on social media. I feel it is time that I asked that we exchange pictures. Should be pretty simple. I guess nerves have got the best of me. What do I say/how do I word it? I guess I’m afraid of scaring her. Silly me.
GENTLE READER: Not having a social media presence has not, unfortunately, inoculated you against some of the less pleasant expectations the online world has created around romance.
It is now often possible to learn the appearance, financial situation and other specifics about a person before actually meeting. But that does not make doing so polite -- or flattering. If you want to know if she looks as good as you remember, you may have to ask her out for coffee. You could accompany the request with “before” and “after” photos of yourself, humorously suggesting that it will help her recognize you when she sees you.