Miss Manners

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Recent wedding-planning discussions have gotten my friends and me thinking about the new rules for wedding gifts.

Most couples of my generation (that fuzzy one between Gen Y and the millennials) have been living together for years, or have been on their own long enough that a wedding registry is seemingly pointless -- just a way to fill one’s already-cramped apartment with more junk.

However, since there is something deeply ingrained within us, asking for cash often comes off as either greedy or crass. What are some ways to avoid the confusion, hurt feelings and duplicate blenders?

GENTLE READER: The way to solve both these problems is to realize that giving and choosing wedding presents -- or, as you think of them, junk -- is up to the prospective donors, not the recipients.

Miss Manners considers the fact that couples often get married fully outfitted to be a good reason to drop the custom, rather than to devise other ways to extract money from guests.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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