DEAR MISS MANNERS: My problem when talking with some people is that when I’m asked a question, the person asking does not give me time to answer it.
I do not stall or delay to answer; I open my mouth to speak, but before I can, the person who initially asked the question proceeds to either supply the answer by guessing several options, or just continues on the topic wondering “why such-and-such is so.” All this while I say nothing, because it is impolite to speak when another is speaking.
When she finally takes a breath, and I can say something, what is a polite way of saying, “If you would stop talking, I could fill you in on all the details”? Or would you have me do something other than respond at all?
GENTLE READER: Ah, yes, Miss Manners has met those people. And noticed that when they guess the answer to their own questions, they are always wrong.
Her solution is to remain silent, with a politely expectant smile on her face, while they stumble along. Eventually, they come to a stop, and -- here is the difficult part -- the silence, along with the smile, must be maintained.
They then realize that they have held an entire conversation with themselves, and are forced to restate the original question in order to get things going again. And this time, they tend to let you answer.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)