DEAR MISS MANNERS: After many years of heavy drinking, my husband has rather recently given up alcohol altogether. I am hosting a birthday dinner for him at a restaurant. Several guests are not aware that he no longer drinks, and given his past habits, it is likely that some will bring an expensive bottle of something as a birthday gift.
I want to let guests know ahead of time that he is not drinking, because I want to avoid a situation where my husband explains this at the party, then proceeds to open fancy bags of alcohol from our well-meaning friends.
However, I don’t want to imply that we are expecting any gifts, nor do I want guests to think they’re not welcome to drink at the dinner (other people’s drinking does not bother my husband, and we want our guests to have a good time). Is there any polite way to let our friends know the situation?
GENTLE READER: Surely the donors do not expect your husband to consume these presents on the spot, and he could merely thank them while saving the bottles to serve future guests.
Or you could mention your husband’s new resolution before the event. Miss Manners is confident that friends who are told, “Roger has felt so much better since he stopped drinking!” will draw their own conclusions about appropriate gifts.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)