DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family received a save-the-date card in the mail for an upcoming bar mitzvah. Our families’ children attend school together and our family was very excited to be included.
The save-the-date card remains posted in our kitchen, but no invitation was received. The party is now only two weeks away. No calls have been received from the family or their party planner asking if we plan to attend for their final count. What to do?
GENTLE READER: Having been asked to save the date, it is only reasonable of you to assume that an invitation would be forthcoming. Miss Manners would not want you to be accused of not responding to an invitation that was mailed but not delivered, nor for your hosts to feel regret that you missed the event because of a mistake on their part -- either failing to mail an intended invitation or assuming that the “save the date” was all that was required.
You should therefore inquire directly. If the omission was not innocent -- for example, an attempt to solicit gifts without an invitation -- you will find out soon enough.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)