DEAR MISS MANNERS: What should I wear to a "black tie optional" wedding when the ceremony begins at 2 p.m. and the reception begins at 5 p.m.?
Should I wear my reception dress to the ceremony, or something more casual and change during the gap between the ceremony and reception? I've purchased a floor-length chiffon gown to wear to the reception, but don't want to be overdressed!
GENTLE READER: Your instinct is correct. Long dresses and black tie should not be worn before dusk.
Your hosts must think that the more important event is the party, rather than the marriage ceremony. So while Miss Manners considers the phrase "black tie optional" silly -- hosts cannot make their dress codes compulsory -- she suggest taking the option and choosing a dressy short dress or suit proper for a formal daytime occasion.