DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a registered nurse and work in an ER setting. Very often a patient will ask polite questions about me that can be difficult to answer. You see, I am lesbian.
If a patient asks if I am married or about my husband in a nice way, I am at a loss. If I "come out" to a stranger, the results can be unpredictably uncomfortable.
Sometimes the patient becomes indignant and wants another nurse, which is very hard to arrange. A patient might feel that I would not take good care of them if they express distaste about my being gay. How can I politely deflect these questions?
GENTLE READER: "Now, now, we're not here to talk about me. We're here to take care of you."
Miss Manners notes that you are in a rare position where nosy questions are not only condoned, but required. But they must be from you to your patient, and about whatever prompted that visit to the hospital.
Deflecting personal chatter in the interest of solving the immediate problem is a skill that all professional people need, regardless of the nature of their private lives, but it should be particularly observed in an emergency room.