DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I are wedding photographers who for years have shot weddings of brides and grooms -- men and women -- getting married.
With the recent Supreme Court ruling allowing same-sex couples to marry, we're struggling with what to properly call the "bride and groom," especially in our wedding contract.
We've put just their names in the contract, leaving out the "bride and groom" language. We thought about doing "Bride 1 and Bride 2," or "Groom 1 and Groom 2," but that seems sterile and a bit rude.
I'm leaning toward eliminating all references to gender, just referring to them as a couple, or just their names. But complicating that are some gay couples we've shot who prefer a designation between the two of them.
Everything we shoot for a gay wedding is the same as a heterosexual wedding -- the couple's families, friends, attendants and so forth. The only difference is the sexual orientation of the couple. Any thoughts?
GENTLE READER: Yes. While it lacks convenience for vendors and multi-use contracts, it hardly seems blameworthy that members of any couple might want to distinguish themselves from each other.
Miss Manners is confused as to why the most obvious solution -- using their names -- isn't working. If you have a pro forma contract, just leave blanks for the names to be filled in later and "the client" instead of the possessive throughout.