DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have to reveal a pet peeve: Waiters and waitresses who ask questions of my dining party such as, "Are we ready to order?" and, "Did we save room for dessert?"
This inclusive questioning seems to occur at both casual and high-end restaurants. Do you agree that this is poor form? Is it appropriate to mention this annoyance to the server? I am a former waitress and a generous tipper!
GENTLE READER: That wait staff use odd phrases and strange terminology may unfortunately be a mandate coming from the establishment itself (or its focus groups), and not the individual.
Miss Manners supposes that the inclusive questioning you describe is in keeping with the unfortunate trend of servers attempting to be the customers' friends, and not their temporary employees. She agrees that the tone is condescending and has the opposite effect.
However, as a former waitress, how would you have reacted to a patron's pointing out these little annoyances -- particularly if they are a job requirement? Please save your complaints for the bigger transgressions and try to endure.