DEAR MISS MANNERS: Miss Manners has been quite clear that throwing a party for oneself is out of the question. What is her opinion, then, of celebrations of life, hosted by those who are terminally ill, as a pre-funeral or instead of a funeral? Is it in bad taste to attend your own funeral while still alive?
GENTLE READER: Well, yes. And technically impossible.
Miss Manners is not unsympathetic to the situation, however. If someone who is terminally ill would like to celebrate with friends -- also known as just having a party -- he may certainly do so.
There is no reason to give the party an alarming name. Those who know the person well may suspect the motivation, but yet be as grateful as those who do not, to not have to call it what it is -- especially if the intent is to celebrate and not to mourn.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)