(EDITORS The second question contains language readers might find objectionable. )
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to stop prying, rude comments from acquaintances regarding a recent, painful divorce? I need a comment that I can memorize that will immediately stop the painful prying and extricate me from further conversation on the subject, during any occasion, as these seem to occur and take me by painful surprise every time.
GENTLE READER: A gentleman of Miss Manners' acquaintance does a little dialogue when he suspects that his infant daughter might be in serious need of a diaper change.
"Is there something you should tell me?" he asks her.
Then, because she is not yet talking, he answers for her in a sweet little voice: "I'd rather not say."
Considering the variety of nosy questions people feel free to ask these days, the phrase will no doubt be of use to her in future years, and Miss Manners recommends it to you now.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a niece who recently married into our family. In less than one year, we've been invited to bridal shower, wedding and recently a baby shower. To which I now ask, if you planned an event and you had RSVP's, the event comes and goes and the very next day .... this niece posts this bulletin on Facebook! "If you r.s.v.p for an event please show up, if you r.s.v.p. no, then thank you even if it's last minute. S
t does come up yes, however a phone call or text only takes a minute. It's rude not, especially if you already r.s.v.p.'d. If you get pissed off when you read this then you are probably a person that does this. If you think I'm a b
ch when you read this, well then join the club and realize I don't give a f
k."
GENTLE READER: Charming niece you've got there. And isn't Miss Manners fortunate to have someone like that defending etiquette? Please give her condolences to your nephew.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I went out to dinner at a moderately priced restaurant with another couple, it was a bit of a treat for all of us to be out together on a weeknight as both of our families have new babies. We budgeted for this dinner accordingly. However, I was a bit shocked when my husband bluntly asked for the price of the special after the waitress had finished her introduction. Granted, in many places, the wait staff includes the price in the initial explanation, so there's no guesswork. But, while I appreciate the frugal sentiment behind my husband's query, I wasn't sure if it was polite to bring this up in front of our dining companions. Which is correct -- for the waiter to offer the prices up front, or barring that, for the patron to ask?
GENTLE READER: Indeed, it would be fairer for the waiter to state the price, as is done in some restaurants. But if this is not done, of course your husband should ask the price.
Miss Manners reminds you that a restaurant is a commercial establishment that sells cooked food. If you were grocery shopping with a friend, would you be embarrassed to ask the price of something that is not marked?
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