DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I recently went to a very "lax" after-dinner party where we knew only the host and one other couple. While we were there, the host as well as several other guests kept texting other people.
It seemed that every time I was in the middle of a conversation (at least five different times), the person I was talking with started to text someone from their cell phone.
The first couple of times, I tried to say casually that it was offensive, but after a while, I got more aggressive, saying it was rude and felt to me like they were whispering in front of me.
The casual response was always something like, "It's work related" or "I'm only texting my husband."
I didn't feel that was appropriate, either. If they were on the phone, shouldn't they at least say, "Excuse me, I have to take this call"?
Am I wrong to be offended? Should I have handled it differently? I have always liked the host, but I told my husband afterward that I don't intend on attending future gatherings.
GENTLE READER: Party? It sounds like study hall.
You don't really need Miss Manners to tell you that it is always rude when you are in the midst of talking to someone to have that person turn to someone else, by whatever means. This is just another version of the party guest who looks over your shoulder in the hope of finding someone more interesting.
Such types never seem to succeed, do they? It doesn't matter with whom they find themselves -- they keep turning to someone else, even someone who isn't there.
Well, let them. You can't go around scolding people. But you can excuse yourself from their company the minute you lose their attention. It is only considerate to let them focus on the company they evidentially prefer.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I were married a month and a half ago, we received congratulatory cards and gifts from virtually all friends and family, except his parents.
I feel awkward even writing about this, but it seems a little odd not to receive a wedding present from his parents. They hosted a rehearsal dinner at their home, so perhaps that was their wedding gift to us -- we aren't really sure.
They are quite stable financially, so I honestly think that has nothing to do with it. I have talked to my husband about the situation, and he said he thought his mother wanted to wait until after the wedding to give us a gift that we did not get from other guests.
Neither of us wants to say anything to them about it, lest it be assumed we are trolling for gifts. Still, my feelings are quite hurt that we did not even receive so much as a card from them. Do you have any suggestions for us?
GENTLE READER: That you stop looking for alternative ways to troll for gifts.
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