DEAR MISS MANNERS: At our retirement home, many people only show up when refreshments are served, and the behavior is wild.
Some people stand in line and talk -- won't move along -- and fill their plates to almost overflowing, then take it home.
At a holiday party, it was disgusting, with people piling up chicken wings, Swedish meat balls, salads, cheese, other finger foods. It's gotten so bad that now only cookies and drinks are served. At the happy hour, the director announced that this is not your supper, it is only a snack.
We have a great restaurant and some are able to cook in their own rooms, but with some people, a free meal or food is the only attraction.
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners advises you to stay away from cruises. When the midnight buffet opens, so many people who have spent the day eating breakfast, pool snacks, elevenses, lunch, tea, cocktail food and dinner make a rush for it that the ship nearly tilts over.
Free food -- that is to say, food that is paid for indirectly, not by the chicken wing -- seems to have that effect on some people. Miss Manners doesn't care for it, but has one word of advice to the director: trays.
It is true that if food is passed, rather than put out, people will move faster around the room than they might otherwise have done. Still, the result will be more sociable than if everyone is planted in front of a buffet table.
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