02/03/2009DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your advice to "Short and Trendy in West Texas" (Nov. 17), whose husband thinks she went against him by cutting her long hair short. I, too, like my wife's hair long, and I see nothing wrong with urging her to keep it that way. Personally, I hate shaving and have suggested to my wife that I might like to grow a beard. She said, "No way," so I keep shaving.
If keeping her hair long is such a burden for "Short and Trendy," I would suggest a better alternative might be to explain to her husband how much time it takes to care for long hair (and three kids), and see if he would be willing to take on more chores so she will have time to care for longer tresses. -- BEN IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.
DEAR BEN: Thank you for lending your male perspective. However, most of the women who responded feel that a long mane is a pain. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Judy, my wife and the love of my life for more than 37 years, still has beautiful waist-length blond hair. It's part of who she is, and I love who she is. Therefore, I brush her hair and massage her neck and shoulders every night before we go to bed.
Long hair is more work than short hair, and taking care of my wife is part of loving her, not a "fetish" of mine. Men who want their wives to keep their hair long might learn to -- and offer to -- help take care of it. -- JUDY'S LOVING HUSBAND IN KULA, HAWAII
DEAR ABBY: I had long hair when my husband and I first were married. It was his desire that I keep it long, but as time went on it became a big hassle with the daily grind. Finally I told him that if he wanted my hair long, he would be the one taking care of it. So for one week my husband got up at 5 in the morning to wash it, dry it and style it. At the end of the week he told me, "Honey, you can do whatever you want with your hair."
If men who like long hair would do what my husband did, perhaps they would understand why we want shorter cuts. -- LONG HAIR NO MORE IN COLORADO SPRINGS
DEAR ABBY: I had the same problem with my husband. My response to him was if he wanted long hair, then he should grow HIS out. He hasn't bothered me about it since. -- J.B. IN WINNSBORO, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: I have a different view of this issue. The wife cutting her hair may have triggered fear in her husband. He may regard the change to short hair as a reminder that he's aging.
I remember one friend whose husband "made" her dye her hair when she began to go gray because her gray hair made him feel old. Change in one partner may worry the other partner that there will be other changes in the relationship. -- LINDA IN MATHEWS, VA.
DEAR ABBY: I have had short hair most of my life. It's easier and suits me much better than long hair. Many men I have met have asked me if I would ever consider growing it out. And here's my response to them: "You want Rapunzel? Then you'd better start acting like Prince Charming!" -- SASSY IN SHORT CUTS
DEAR ABBY: The first five years of marriage, your husband wants you to have long hair. The second five years, your husband wants his daughter to have long hair. The next five years, he wishes HE had some hair. -- CALL ME SHORTY IN AKRON, OHIO
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)