DEAR ABBY: I talked with one of my siblings about having a joint vacation. He suggested all of us get together with our spouses and go on one together. We discussed locations and had a family meeting to discuss the possibility. We're all in our 50s or older, and some of us have health issues.
There has always been a lot of bickering between some of us because of control issues. I explained to everyone that we can make our requests for locations, activities, etc., but we all need to be willing to give a little. The bickering is continuing, and some unkind things were said about others.
I just want to plan a fun vacation and have a good time, but I'm worried the negativity will carry over to the vacation. We are all we have left in this world. Our parents died years ago, and since then, one of our siblings has passed away, too. I worry that this may be a last chance for all of us to be together. All but one live within 10 miles of each other, and I'm sad to say we get together only a few times a year. Any suggestions on how to handle this sticky situation? -- IN VACATION MODE
DEAR VACATION MODE: Taking into consideration the family dynamics you have described, it's wishful thinking to believe you can control the way your siblings relate to each other. The reason they see each other so infrequently may have something to do with the fact that some of them are petty, immature and nasty. My suggestion would be to invite only those siblings who can get along with each other and see the other ones separately.