DEAR ABBY: I need some outside advice. I just found out that my mother has breast cancer. That is hard enough, but I also found out that she has known for the last 18 months and decided to not take any measures to fight it.
My sisters say we should respect her decision and give her as much support as we can, but I can't help but want to push her to fight this. She said she doesn't want the pain of surgery and possibly chemotherapy. I need someone to help me understand what to do. Please. -- NEEDS SOME HELP IN TEXAS
DEAR NEEDS SOME HELP: I don't know at what stage your mother's cancer was at the time of her diagnosis and whether she got a second opinion and counseling. After 18 months of not being treated, I also don't know at what stage it may be now. It may have been too late then -- or it may be too late now.
If she made her decision under the assumption that there would be no pain if she skipped the surgery/chemo, she was incorrect. There is pain either way, although with heavy medication it may be controlled.
I do think you should support her decision and make the best of the time you have together. Your sisters are right -- she will need your support as her disease progresses. My heart goes out to all of you. Please accept my sympathy.