DEAR ABBY: As my children have grown older, I have regarded myself as matriarch of the family, giving advice and help where I think it's needed. Lately, though, I'm afraid my relationship with them may have taken a turn for the worse. I can't seem to stop criticizing.
Recently they sat down with me and told me they dread coming to visit, are sick of my "mother-in-law" treatment of their spouses and collectively wish I'd check my tongue. I meant well, but my kids are right. The problem is, I'm afraid I can't stop. Trying to hold my opinions back leaves me anxious and depressed.
My family is pretty normal, and I don't want to alienate anyone. But I am having difficulty dialing back these habits and don't know where to turn. -- CRITICAL MATRIARCH IN UTAH
DEAR MATRIARCH: When the urge to criticize becomes overwhelming, bite your tongue or leave the room. The only exception would be if you see an impending disaster.
I'll share with you some advice my mother gave me years ago: The most unwelcome advice in the world is that which is unasked for. Take it to heart and your relationship with your adult children and their spouses may improve.