DEAR ABBY: I am very frustrated because my soon-to-be husband doesn't shower often enough. He showers about twice a month -- and that's it. I have tried convincing him to get in the shower with me as foreplay, but he refuses. When I ask him why he won't shower, he says he showers "enough." He doesn't seem depressed or moody. He just smells really bad -- especially "down there."
All of this is recent. Because he washes so infrequently, I have become less willing to have sexual contact with him. His hygiene problems are major. When we first got together, he showered daily or at least every other day. He doesn't understand how disgusted I am. His behavior is extremely gross and unhealthy. Help! -- THE CLEAN ONE
DEAR CLEAN ONE: You are absolutely right. Your fiance's poor hygiene is extremely gross and unhealthy. He understands how disgusted you are; he just doesn't care. He cleaned up before because you hadn't been "wooed and won" yet. He may change in the future, but not for the better.
You say this personality change is recent. You might be doing him a favor to suggest that it's time for a checkup with his doctor.