DEAR ABBY: My son is angry to the point of rage that my daughter is dating his best friend, "Ron." He says his sister "betrayed him" because when she and Ron broke up, she promised never to date another of his friends again, but went back to dating Ron. He also blames my husband and me for encouraging them. They are only 18 months apart in age.
We have shared that we understand his feelings of loss regarding his friend, but we don't think there's anything wrong with her dating Ron. I don't think anything will make him feel better except them breaking up again, and that doesn't look like it will happen.
My son is 22 and my daughter is 20. This is ruining the once close-knit family we had. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. -- MESS ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR MESS: Your son may be 22, but he needs to grow up. If he values his friendship with Ron, he will have to accept that he cannot control the love lives of others, and the person he is punishing with the stance he has taken is himself. It's time for you to step back. You and your spouse will be better off if you stop allowing your adult son's tantrum(s) to affect you.