DEAR ABBY: My "boyfriend" and I are in our mid-40s. Three-and-a-half years ago he was in a bad accident. Because our relationship seemed to be getting serious, he moved into my house. He was planning on returning to construction work a few months later, once his doctor cleared him. Unfortunately, the doctor said he would never be able to resume work in construction. He applied for Social Security Disability and, after two years of paperwork and waiting, he was denied.
He keeps himself busy by painting pictures. Occasionally he sells one or two paintings online or through art shows. However, what he earns is not nearly enough to support himself. I had to take a significant pay cut at work, and I'm having a hard time supporting both of us. My savings are being depleted, and my credit card balance is skyrocketing.
I have told him repeatedly that he needs to get a job. He's not totally disabled. He could work -- he just can't go back to construction. He insists he's going to make it big selling art. I tell him art is his hobby, not his career. I have also told him that I'm a financial wreck and that I'm going to lose my house, but he doesn't care. He says, "Buy a smaller house."
I tell him he has to get a job or move out, but he doesn't do either. I'm ready to sell my house and live in a small apartment by myself. But I can't get him to leave. What can I do? -- OVER THIS IN ILLINOIS
DEAR OVER THIS: Because this man has lived with you for so long, getting him out of there may take the help of a lawyer. He's not an artist; he's an ingrate and a freeloader. Although you are having financial difficulties right now, it will be money well spent. Please don't wait.