DEAR ABBY: My darling husband recently passed away. It's a sad time for all of us. I wrote his obituary for our local paper and included the names of charitable causes, requesting donations be sent to them in lieu of flowers.
I sent the obituary to my husband's mother and sister who live out of state, in case they wanted to publish it in their local paper in the town where he grew up. They did, but changed the charities to ones of their choice. They didn't tell me they were doing it or ask my opinion. I found out only when I saw his obituary online.
I am extremely upset, especially because one of the causes they listed is a hospital I feel contributed to my husband's early death. What is the etiquette in this situation? Was it acceptable for them to make that change? Should I say something, or should I let it go? -- WOUNDED WIDOW IN TEXAS
DEAR WOUNDED WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. You have every right to be upset that his obituary was altered. What his mother and sister did was wrong. They should not have changed it without your permission.
By all means, tell them how you feel about what they did, and that you feel the care your husband received at that hospital contributed to his early death. Had they consulted you as they should have, they would have known better.