DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We are in our 50s and have both been married before. My problem is I don't know how to respond to his friends and family when they talk to me about his first wife. They tell story after story, and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel disrespected but smile politely to not be rude. Any thoughts? -- GIRLFRIEND IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR GIRLFRIEND: I am sure no one does it out of a desire to make you uncomfortable or disrespect you. How you respond would depend upon whether your boyfriend's marriage ended in death or divorce.
If his former wife is deceased, a way to change the subject might be to say, "It sounds like she was a wonderful (mother, daughter, woman)." However, if the marriage ended in divorce, all you need to say is that you'd rather focus on the present than the unhappy past.