DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 44 years. We eloped in high school and still feel like newlyweds. We built a successful business, ran it for 40 years and recently had an opportunity to sell it.
The problem is my mother. We bought a second home in California, but kept our first home. Every time I call to ask how she and Dad are doing, she responds with, "You don't care how we are. If you did, you would be here."
I love our new life. Our kids are grown, and we are enjoying ourselves to the fullest. We are both in excellent health, and still young at heart. How can we tell her that we have a life we love without her being so resentful? -- LOVING LIFE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOVING: You can't, because your mother feels you should be at her beck and call. She has had you close since you were a child, and now she may be feeling deserted.
At this point, I don't advise telling your mother that you "have a life you love" without her. Instead, I suggest that you phrase your greeting to her more carefully.
Rather than ask how she and your dad are doing, say that you are "calling to check in." Say that you were thinking about her. And if she starts in with "you don't care," tell her that you do care or you wouldn't be on the phone with her, but if she keeps giving you a guilt trip, she'll be hearing from you less.