DEAR ABBY: "Kirk" and I have been together for 10 years, married for five. We're nearing our 30s, and the idea of a child has come up. While I have never had any desire for children, I'm becoming more open to the idea. My parents divorced when I was young, so I have a fear of being a single mom. Kirk grew up never knowing his father, so he has always wanted to take on that role.
Kirk is a wonderful, loving husband, but when he's tired, he doesn't always handle things well. We have two dogs, and when they bother Kirk during the night or when he wants to be left alone, he gets frustrated. I'm wondering if this is an example of how he would be if we were to have a baby.
I have discussed my concerns with him; he says it would be different because it would involve a child, not a pet. I love my dogs dearly and feel they should have their needs met as children do, no matter the circumstances. Is it possible that Kirk will be different with our child, or is this how he'll react when he's disturbed in the middle of the night? -- LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE
DEAR LOOKING: That depends upon how Kirk reacts when he becomes "frustrated." Most adults are mature and rational enough to differentiate between an animal's need for attention and a small child's, and react appropriately.
However, since you are approaching this rationally in advance of becoming pregnant, it might quiet your fears if you and Kirk were to join some parenting classes together. Your OB/GYN might be able to tell you where to locate one. Or go online and do a web search on parenting classes in your area.