DEAR ABBY: We are a married male couple. It is always awkward to use the word "husband" when I'm referring to or asked about my spouse, because heterosexuals seem to think that if I have a "husband," then that makes me a "wife." Nope!
I have started using "husband" and not "partner" because we are legally married and have been together for 18 years. Lesbians seem to have no trouble using "wife" when referring to each other. Why then does there seem to be a problem with male couples using "husband and husband" without it seeming awkward for heterosexuals?
I have experienced this problem many times, and so have other male couples we know. Is there another term that's better than "husband"? -- PERPLEXED IN PHOENIX
DEAR PERPLEXED: You could use the word "spouse," but using the word "husband" is preferable. ("Partner" may be appropriate, but in my opinion, it does not accurately describe your status as a married person.) People may be jolted to hear married male couples refer to each other as husband because same-sex marriage is still new in many areas of the country.
Personally, I think you should use the word "husband" and be confident in doing so. The more you do, the greater the opportunity for the larger population to become accustomed to hearing it used.