DEAR ABBY: I have a horrible fear of death, not just my own but especially something happening to my toddler. It stresses me so badly that I have not been away from her for more than two hours in her three years. I'm terrified that something will happen and I won't be there to help her. Because I've done this, she will not let me leave the room, let alone the house. Her daddy gets upset that she cries to be with me.
I lost my friend and both of my parents within a year, and my daughter was born between the deaths of Mom and Dad. Also, I had cancer as a young adult. I don't know if this has contributed to my feelings, but I know I'm making myself crazy, and I don't know how to deal with these thoughts and fears.
I won't leave my child with anyone for fear that they won't protect her like I can. How do I get over this so we can get out and function like a normal family? -- PARALYZED IN KENTUCKY
DEAR PARALYZED: While it's normal for a young child to be dependent upon his or her mother, children also need to know they can trust and depend upon their father to meet their needs. Your daughter has been deprived of this.
Because in addition to having survived a life-threatening illness you have experienced so much loss, you may need the help of a licensed psychotherapist to get over your fear. Your physician or your health insurance provider can refer you to one.