DEAR ABBY: My 33-year-old son has mental problems. He is moving out to live with a guy he has been talking to on the internet and who has met him once.
His father and I are against it, not because of their homosexuality but because we are afraid it's a dangerous situation. We have learned that the guy was arrested three years ago on three different charges. He says he was cleared, but refuses any background checks or fingerprinting for jobs and/or government housing.
When we tried to talk to our son and explain the dangers, he became irate and blamed everything on us. He has no driver's license and has threatened to take off. He has also threatened suicide. We have asked him to consider talking to a psychiatrist, but he refuses. He does see a psychologist every three months, and he's supposed to be on medication, which he refuses to take. How can we deal with this? His psychologist won't talk to us unless my son gives the OK. -- DESPERATE WORRIED MOTHER
DEAR DESPERATE: Because your son is an adult, unless he is a danger to himself or others, there is nothing you can do to prevent him from leaving. However, you can write his psychologist a letter letting him/her know what is going on and address your concerns. There is a chance your son might pay more attention to what his therapist says than to you.
An organization that may be of help to you is The National Alliance on Mental Illness, accessible at nami.org. It may be able to provide you with the guidance and emotional support you need.