DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years is a perfectionist. I am not. Her father used to call her "Little Miss Perfect." I try to help around the house, but she always comes afterward to "correct" my mistakes and make things "perfect." I am not sloppy about my work -- just not up to her standards.
Two examples: I make the bed; she remakes it. I can't even mow the grass correctly because she likes diagonal cuttings and I cut parallel to the street. After one day, there's no difference. As a result, I have given up helping.
This doesn't bother her one bit; she gladly does all the work. Further, she's busy ALL day. We never have a chance to talk. When we do, it is always trivial: the weather, our schedule or her job at work.
I am retired and find this disconcerting. When I try my hobbies, she's all over me, so I quit them. Most men would trade places in an instant, but I'm just trying to figure out how to live with her and myself. I try to golf a lot. -- UNHAPPY HUBBY IN MICHIGAN
DEAR UNHAPPY HUBBY: Has it occurred to you that your wife may suffer from OCD, and that's the reason everything has to be "perfect"? It appears the only thing that isn't perfect is your marriage.
Perhaps it's time you talked to her about how her obsession with perfection makes you feel -- because from where I sit, it comes across as a passive-aggressive putdown. Unless she's willing to recognize that what she's doing isn't healthy for your marriage and consider professional help, nothing will change.
In the meantime, consider more hobbies you can do on your own or with friends -- hiking, hunting, skiing, fishing, etc.