DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Rory," and I both come from close families. Whenever something is wrong, troublesome, etc., in either of our families, we have meetings where the entire immediate family comes together to discuss the issue.
The problem is, I am not invited to his! It's not like I'm a recent addition to this family. Rory and I dated for 15 years before getting married. My family started inviting him to our meetings after we had dated for a year, including discussions about my dad losing his job, my brother's stint in rehab and more.
Rory's family has had lots of similar meetings, but I am excluded because I am not a blood relative. Even when my husband lost his job, I was not invited to attend. I was left sitting out in the hallway with the children and the boyfriend of one of his other siblings.
I am Rory's wife. Shouldn't I be allowed in on the family discussions now that we're married, especially ones that center on my husband? Am I overreacting because I'm so angry about this? How can I overcome this exclusion from his family? -- WANTS TO JOIN IN
DEAR WANTS TO JOIN IN: You are not overreacting. If you haven't done so already, discuss this with your husband. He is the one who needs to make his family understand you are now a full-fledged member of the clan. If their line of thinking is followed to its logical conclusion, then no man or woman who marries in is fully accepted. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder," the saying goes. The tradition in Rory's family creates division, and it isn't healthy.