DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose son was involved in a shooting which ended in a death in her house. Should I send food, flowers and a nice note in the mail or stand back and not intrude? I sent a text asking if she was OK and if I could do anything for her family, but I don't know what else to do. We are more than acquaintances but less than great friends. -- UNSURE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR UNSURE: If the funeral has been held, your friend does not need flowers. At a time like this, she could use some moral support. Call her and tell her you would like to bring some food over and ask what she may need. Then bring it to her, and be ready to listen if she wants to talk. Your presence and your caring will be meaningful, because when a tragedy like this happens, people don't know what to say, which isolates the person who is grieving.