DEAR ABBY: In 1972 when I was 12, my father found out that I was gay, although that wasn't the word he used. After a severe beating that landed me in the hospital, I realized that to survive I was going to have to live "straight." Eventually I married, and for almost 25 years I was relatively happy. My wife died of cancer five years ago, and now I need to move on.
Can someone my age enter gay society? One thing I have noticed is that it can be more difficult for older gay men than straight. Any suggestions or should I just continue living the lie? -- AT A CROSSROADS IN MINNESOTA
DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: The gay community may be biased toward youth, but that doesn't mean it is impossible to be a part of it. You have "served your time" hiding in the straight world. Contact the nearest gay and lesbian center (lgbtcenters.org) and talk to someone there about your chances of successfully integrating. I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised because most centers have programs for LGBT people of all ages.