DEAR ABBY: I have been in an on-again-off-again, long-distance relationship with a guy for a year and a half. I have broken up with him and taken him back six times. It is always for the same reason: We are not compatible as a romantic couple.
I have explained that we would be better as friends, but when I try to leave, he cries and begs me not to go. I'm afraid he could be suicidal, based on past reactions.
I love him as a friend and I want him to be with someone who can love him the way he wants to be loved. How do I let him down easy, if there is even such a thing? I'm afraid I might ruin his life.
I guess my question is, when you know in your gut that things won't work out, when is it OK to throw in the towel? -- PERPLEXED IN PENSACOLA
DEAR PERPLEXED: After six breakups, your long-distance romance is well past its expiration date. When there is a lack of chemistry between a couple, it's no one's fault and it's usually a deal-breaker. The problem with letting someone down the way you're trying to is that it prolongs the pain, like removing a sliver halfway, then jamming it back in because the person is wincing.
Threats of suicide if a romance is unsuccessful are attempts to control the partner who wants to leave through guilt. The time to throw in that towel is now.